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  • Writer's picturefmblum

The Best Swear Words Are One Syllable

Updated: Jan 2, 2021

This morning I had a revelation. All of the best swear word are one syllable. Why is that and is it a coincidence? Before I answer my own question, I have to warn you that if you are timid or are easily shocked you might want to stop reading now because the language is about to get a little dicey. And I should admit to my bias that the word fuck is the must useful word ever created. It can be a noun ("holy fuck"), an adjective ("fucked"), an verb ("go fuck yourself") or an adverb ("fucking good"). t can convey everything from anger (“fuck you”), to happiness (“fucken great”) to many things in-between. If you disagree just listen to the 1989 song “The Universal Adjective” by Pinkard & Bowden. If you think I’m wrong, you are fucken crazy.

Now back to the original question. In my not so humble opinion the answer is based on a number of linguistic, evolutionary, cultural and historical factors and depends on how the particular word is being used at the time. Let’s use fuck as an example. If it is used as an insult a one syllable word has a number of benefits. The first one that comes to mind is that if you are insulting someone using a multisyllable word you might get punched in the noose before you get the last syllable out. Our ancestors that used one syllable swear words survived longer than those who did not. I have even been told that the use of multisyllabic swear words was the cause of the demise of homo erectus.

Another reason is based on the simplicity of one syllable words. These words are often used when we are upset or angry. When our emotions are running high it may be difficult to corral our thoughts and eloquently express them. At these times we are better able to draw from a simple vocabulary. Less is definitely more.

The last reason is based on how we as humans use language to convey our thoughts, feelings and emotions. A useful swear word must be able to have an immediate impact and not be subject to different interpretations. There is no reason to swear if the listener does not know that he is being sweared at. Here is an example for your consideration.

Compare – “Sir, I disagree with your opinion and I believe that you are being disingenuous and callous” to “fuck you.” Both convey similar messages but only the latter makes a clear and unambiguous statement. No one can mistake “fuck you” with a simple disagreement.

In the end one syllable swear words are a monument to the best of who we are and the triumph of the human spirit.

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